My husband was in Egypt, having been deployed only a week. We'd been married for almost exactly six months.
I literally went crazy, I think. I finally pulled myself out of in November, when Rich came home, but... even now, I can feel the old numbness, the cold deadness creeping around me, when I think about it.
I became like your brother, wanting to shut it all out and push it all away, because if it didn't exist it couldn't affect me, right? And why should it affect me, some anonymous little Air Force wife living in North Carolina? I didn't know anyone in the towers, I didn't know anyone who died that day. I felt ashamed for letting it affect me so much. Still do.
Uh... I'm not really sure why I spilled all of that here. Heh. Sorry, Chris. *wry smile*
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Date: 2003-09-11 05:05 pm (UTC)My husband was in Egypt, having been deployed only a week. We'd been married for almost exactly six months.
I literally went crazy, I think. I finally pulled myself out of in November, when Rich came home, but... even now, I can feel the old numbness, the cold deadness creeping around me, when I think about it.
I became like your brother, wanting to shut it all out and push it all away, because if it didn't exist it couldn't affect me, right? And why should it affect me, some anonymous little Air Force wife living in North Carolina? I didn't know anyone in the towers, I didn't know anyone who died that day. I felt ashamed for letting it affect me so much. Still do.
Uh... I'm not really sure why I spilled all of that here. Heh. Sorry, Chris. *wry smile*